Total VeteranReconnecting With Family After Service: What Works and Where to Get Help
FOCUS is a US family programme with a published evaluation. The UK has no equivalent with outcome data, but veterans and partners can get free counselling and welfare support.
- FOCUS runs eight sessions, and its 2012 evaluation of 488 families found improvement on all measures, without a control group.
- FOCUS resilience training is aimed at active-duty families, and its website does not mention veterans.
- RAF Benevolent Fund and Relate offer up to six free counselling sessions to RAF personnel, veterans and partners.
- VA Vet Centers offer free marriage and family counselling, and family members need no VA enrolment.
- About four in ten UK military couples in a 2025 study had at least one partner reporting relationship distress.
The best-evaluated reintegration programme for military families is FOCUS (Families OverComing Under Stress), a US resilience programme with eight sessions and a peer-reviewed evaluation. The UK has no equivalent programme with published outcome data that I could find. UK and US veterans and their partners can still access free or low-cost relationship counselling, family counselling and welfare support, and the options are listed below.
What FOCUS is and what its evaluation found
FOCUS is a selective prevention programme that gives military families strength-based, trauma-informed resilience training. According to the 2012 evaluation by Lester and colleagues in the American Journal of Public Health, it consists of eight flexibly scheduled sessions: 90 minutes for parent and family sessions and 30 to 60 minutes for child sessions. Providers are master's or doctoral-level child and family mental health specialists, and sessions use a structured narrative approach to build understanding, communication and family cohesion.
| Feature | Detail from the Lester et al. (2012) evaluation |
|---|---|
| Sample | 488 families (742 parents and 873 children) at baseline; 331 families (466 parents and 493 children) with before-and-after outcomes |
| Setting | 11 US Marine Corps and Navy installations, including one in Okinawa, Japan |
| Period | July 2008 to February 2010 |
| Completion | 67.8 percent of families (331 of 488) |
| Starting distress | Parents and children showed higher distress than community norms. About 34 percent of non-active-duty parents and 23 percent of active-duty parents scored above the PTSD screening cutoff. |
| Outcomes | Parents and children improved on all measures. Parental distress and unhealthy family functioning fell, and children’s behavioural difficulties fell while prosocial behaviour and coping rose. |
| Main limit | No control group, so the authors could not rule out other explanations. Families who finished tended to be less distressed. |
The authors call the findings preliminary and recommend a trial with a comparison group. FOCUS also has a limit on who can use it. The FOCUS programmes page describes services for military service members and their loved ones, with resilience training specifically for active-duty families and couples, and it does not mention veterans or explain how to enrol.
What the UK has instead
UK services for relationships and family life after service are mostly counselling and welfare support. Outcome data exist for one of them. A Relate and RAF Benevolent Fund service evaluation, reported by Cobseo in October 2017, found that 43 percent of Relate's RAF clients were clinically depressed at the start of counselling, and that 63 percent of those were no longer clinically distressed by the end. The report is eight years old, and it comes from the service provider's own evaluation.
Recent UK research describes the need. A 2025 study of 219 UK military couples found that about four in ten had at least one partner meeting the threshold for relationship distress, and that partners with more PTSD symptoms reported lower relationship satisfaction (Centre for Evidence Based Early Intervention summary). A second 2025 study of 3,845 service personnel and veterans found that most people reported no change in relationship satisfaction over about seven years. New mental health problems and having children under 18 were linked to a move from satisfied to dissatisfied. The UK Veterans Family Study found that partners of veterans with PTSD were more likely to meet clinical thresholds for depression, anxiety, PTSD and alcohol misuse, and that significant barriers to support exist for both veterans and families.
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Where to get help
UK
| Service | Who can use it | What you get |
|---|---|---|
| RAF Benevolent Fund with Relate | RAF personnel, Reservists, veterans and their partners, married or not, including separated or divorced people. Not available to anyone located in the USA. | Up to six free counselling sessions, face to face, by video, by telephone or by web chat. Helpline 0300 102 1919 (Monday to Friday, 8:00am to 5:00pm). The Fund aims to respond within five working days. |
| Royal Navy and Royal Marines Charity with Relate | Serving and former Royal Navy and Royal Marines personnel and their partners. | Relate counselling in person, online or by phone, plus a free online portal with seven modules. The page mentions a per-session contribution for veterans from 1 January 2024, so check current terms. |
| SSAFA | Families of all armed forces personnel and veterans. | Forcesline 0800 260 6780, domestic abuse outreach, bereavement support groups, and supported housing for women and children affected by damaged relationships. SSAFA does not list general relationship counselling on this page. |
| Relate | The general public, in England and Wales for online counselling. | Relationship, family and individual counselling, with free counselling available through partnerships with the RNRMC and RAFBF. |
| NHS Op COURAGE | Veterans resident in England. A family member or friend can make the contact for you. | An assessment from a specialist veterans mental health service, with regional numbers on the NHS page. |
| AFF, NFF, RAF FF | Army, Royal Navy and Royal Marines, and RAF families. | Confidential advice on family life, education and leaving the service. NFF: 023 9265 4374. RAF FF: 01780 781650. |
US
| Service | Who can use it | What you get |
|---|---|---|
| VA Vet Centers | Eligible veterans, service members including Guard and Reserve, and their families. | Individual, group, marriage and family counselling at no cost in a non-medical setting. Call 1-877-927-8387, 24 hours. Family members do not need VA health care enrolment. |
| Military OneSource | Service members and families, including for 365 days after separation or retirement. | Free counselling for individuals, couples and families. Call 800-342-9647, 24 hours. |
| VA family and caregiver benefits | Spouses, children, caregivers and survivors of eligible veterans. | CHAMPVA health coverage, caregiver support (Caregiver Support Line 855-260-3274), and bereavement counselling for surviving family members. |
| FOCUS | Military service members and their loved ones, with resilience training for active-duty families and couples. | Resilience training of 6 to 8 sessions, consultations, workshops and skill-building groups. |
A parenting-focused option for US veterans with PTSD is in trial. An uncontrolled trial of Strength at Home-Parents enrolled 53 VA-treated veterans with PTSD and parent-child difficulties. Parenting stress, family functioning and PTSD symptoms improved, and the authors conclude the results support a larger trial.
How to choose a first step
- Couple under strain: start with relationship counselling through RAFBF, the RNRMC or Relate in the UK, or a VA Vet Centers office in the US.
- Children struggling: see the article on children and transition and contact the school.
- Symptoms affecting home life: request an Op COURAGE assessment in England or an appointment at a VA Vet Centers office in the US.
- Practical or housing questions: use your Families Federation or SSAFA.
The article on deployment and family relationships explains the research behind these patterns, and the article on integrated social support covers how family fits into wider support.
UK: call Samaritans free on 116 123 (24 hours), or the Combat Stress helpline on 0800 138 1619 (24 hours, text 07537 173683). Veterans in England can contact the NHS Op COURAGE service through the regional numbers on the NHS Op COURAGE page. US: dial 988 then press 1 for the Veterans Crisis Line, or text 838255. Family and friends can use these lines too.
What to do this week
- Choose one service from the tables above that matches your situation and make the first call this week.
- Call the RAF Benevolent Fund counselling helpline on 0300 102 1919 if you served in the RAF or have an RAF partner.
- In the US, call the Vet Centers line on 1-877-927-8387 and ask about couples or family counselling.
- Ask your Families Federation or SSAFA Forcesline (0800 260 6780) about local family support.
- Book an Op COURAGE assessment if symptoms such as PTSD are straining family life.
Questions people ask
What is the FOCUS programme for military families?
Is there free relationship counselling for UK veterans?
Can family members get counselling at a VA Vet Center?
How long can veterans use Military OneSource?
- Lester et al., "Evaluation of a Family-Centered Prevention Intervention for Military Children and Families Facing Wartime Deployments", American Journal of Public Health 102 Suppl 1 (2012). https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3496435
- FOCUS Project, "FOCUS Programs". https://focusproject.org/focus-programs
- Creech et al., "Trauma-informed parenting intervention for Veterans", Journal of Family Psychology (2023). https://www.centreforevidence.org/article/20230914-trauma-informed-parenting-intervention-for-veterans-a-preliminary-uncontrolled-trial-of-strength-at-home-parents
- RAF Benevolent Fund, "Relationship counselling and mediation". https://www.rafbf.org/get-support/family-relationships/relationship-counselling-mediation
- Royal Navy and Royal Marines Charity, "Relationship support". https://www.rnrmc.org.uk/relationship-support
- Cobseo, "Relationship counselling proving effective in reducing depression" (5 October 2017). https://www.cobseo.org.uk/?p=20406
- Centre for Evidence Based Early Intervention, summary of Gribble et al. and Scalco et al. (2025). https://www.centreforevidence.org/news/20250806-new-research-has-explored-relationship-satisfaction-among-military-couples-and-personnel-veterans
- Forces in Mind Trust, "First report published from UK Veterans Family Study" (2022). https://www.fim-trust.org/news-policy-item/first-report-published-from-uk-veterans-family-study/
- Department of Veterans Affairs, Vet Centers. https://www.vetcenter.va.gov/
- Army.mil, "Military OneSource benefits extended to vets, families for full year after separation" (15 August 2018). https://www.army.mil/article/209921/military_onesource_benefits_extended_to_vets_families_for_full_year_after_separation
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